Monday, 19 August 2013
Lindsay Lohan Admits To Being A Drug Addict
Lindsay Lohan has finally admitted that she's an addict.
The 27-year-old star sat down for a long-awaited, tell-all interview with talk show queen Oprah Winfrey that she gave just four days after getting out of rehab.
She confessed during the interview broadcast on Sunday that she was addicted to Adderall, had used cocaine more than she admitted in the past and opened up about her chaotic family life growing up.
Lindsay insisted after her latest stint in treatment - her sixth attempt at getting clean - that things were going to be different.
At times on Oprah's Next Chapter, the Mean Girls star fought back tears.
Sixteen minutes into the hour-long broadcast, Oprah asked: 'Are you an addict?'
'Yeah,' Lindsay quickly replied.
'What is your drug of choice?' Oprah said.
'Alcohol,' said an embarrassed-looking Lindsay, who wore a figure-hugging orange dress, and had her hair tied back.
'That, in the past was a gateway to other things for me. I tried cocaine with alcohol.
'I really haven't done it more than 10 to 15 times,' she insisted.
She previously confessed to having taken the drug 'four or five times'.
'I was terrified of being judged,' she said now, insisting her new claim of 10 to 15 times was the truth - and said she never enjoyed it.
'No, I never felt good the next day. It allowed me to drink more,' she said, explaining why she'd taken the illegal substance. 'I think that's why I did. And it was a party thing. People would have it and I would do it'
'I snorted it. I've never injected anything, except getting B-12 shots!
'But yeah, it went hand in hand with drinking [and partying].'
She also confessed she was 'addicted' to Adderall.
'What's going to be different this time?' Oprah asked.
'Not taking [ADHD prescription drug] Adderall,' she laughed. 'That's a big deal.'
'Were you addicted to Adderall?' Oprah asked.
'Yes, because that's all I knew,' said Lindsay. 'I was convinced that it did ground me.'
But she said she was much more 'calm' now.
'I could go to sleep and eat on it,' she said, denying that she took the stimulant to lose weight, as many people do.
'I don't need it [now],' she said.
'I'm on vitamins now,' she said, insisting she was not taking ANY prescription drugs, before adding: 'I take Nexium, because I have acid reflux.'
Lindsay also admitted she wanted to get sent to jail, in a subconscious bid to get help.
She was sentenced to 90 days behind bars in 2010 after violating the terms of her probation, but wound up serving just 14 because of overcrowding.
'Part of my decision was, at that point… strangely, being in my addiction and everything, and having all the chaos around me that I was so comfortable with, I somewhere inside knew, and kind of wanted, to go to jail,' she admitted.
'I think that was subconsciously being put out there just by my actions. I think it was just to find some peace and have no choice but to just sit and be.'
'How desperate is that?' asked Oprah.
'Yeah,' she replied. 'It's terrifying.'
And she wept as she told how it was 'heartbreaking' to see her mother, sister and father so upset in court as the verdict was handed down.
'It was horrible. I just remember this rush of heat coming over me and not knowing what to expect,' she added.
'[I felt] definitely lots of shame, tons of guilt. Embarrassment.'
She admitted her first DUI was a 'little-bit' of a wake-up call.
'But it didn't really hit me,' she said. 'Because I'm an addict. You would think in that situation, someone would be like ‘Holy sh*t, I need to check myself.' It’s the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again.'
And even going to jail didn't get her sober.
'That was my biggest wake-up call,' she said. 'I started to change a lot.'
'It was over a period of time,' she said when asked when she realized she actually had a problem.
She said that she decided to check into a clinic this time after discussions with her lawyer.
'This was more me sitting with [lawyer] Shawn [Holley] and I just hit a wall, I was just tired.
'I said, 'I think the best option is for me to go to treatment'.'
She said Holley was like 'family' to her, as she fought back tears.
'I just love her,' she said.
Lindsay said it worked this time because she went of her own accord.
'The other times it tended to be a punishment,' she said. 'I don't think I've ever fully surrendered to the fact that I just need to shut up and listen. In this case, I wasn't fighting, at all. I just let go,' she said.
'I came into it just really willing, and really craving more spirituality, and more open, ready to get really honest,' she said, adding she was 'absolutely' in denial before, saying she couldn't come to terms with the idea of never having a drink with her friends again.
'It's not about that. All I can do is live in each moment and take every moment as it comes, and live - as cliche as it might sound - one day at at time,' she said.
'I don't have control over tomorrow.'
'I think [I learned] how to ground myself,' she told Oprah.
'I don't need to go to outside things, or places, or substances to feel anything. It's all here.'
Lindsay also touched on her chaotic family life growing up, but refused to lay blame for her troubles on her parents Dina and Michael.
She said the three of them were planning on meeting for lunch.
She also opened up about previous stints in rehab, saying that in 2007 she was treated at the Wonderland rehab clinic for a problem with Ambien.
'I tried [sleeping pill] Ambien at the time. It was really scary. It wasn't an addiction, it was just a scare. I'd taken it for about a month at that time and I didn't know the side effects,' she said.
Lindsay said her downward slide when she moved to Los Angeles after the success of Mean Girls, when she was 'seventeen or eighteen'.
'I was stubborn,' she said, as she told how mother Dina didn't want her to make the move as she felt she was too young.
'I didn't pay close enough attention to what was going on. People around for the wrong reasons,' she said now.
Her five films at that point had earned around half-a-billion dollars at the box office by then.
'[I was making] too much,' she said, confessing that she netted $7 million for Just My Luck.
'I wasted so much money. I was living at a hotel and I had an apartment. I wasn't really being guided. No-one was [there],' she said.
'That wasn't happening. I didn't listen to my family,' she said.
Lindsay told Oprah that she was planning on going to Europe and the talk show queen asked her if that was a good idea.
'I'm different. I feel different. I'm in a different headspace.
'I don't want those things that I wanted before,' Lindsay vowed, as she said she wasn't going to 'party'.
'I want you to win,' Oprah told her.
Two days after the interview, which was conducted late last month, Lindsay canceled her vacation to Europe, a message flahsed on screen read.
The broadcast also included several ads for Lohan's most recent rehab clinic, Cliffside Malibu.